A life most beautiful!

The day I stood at the foot of a mountain, I discovered my insignificance. The walk that led me deep into the woods opened my eyes to the magnificent of creation. It was a lonely tear that fell into the ocean which allowed me to connect with the whole. The moment I allowed myself to sit within the darkness that surrounded me, my soul found illumination.

I had walked in the valley of death for years, lost and confused. The only way to survive was to eliminate this painful existence with every escapism and avoidance method created by man.  An empty vessel wondering from shore to shore in hope, that one day, I may once again feel alive. To walk in the sunshine, I needed to experience my shadow self, embrace those disowned parts-of-self that were the cause of my greatest shame.  I needed to acknowledge that these were a part of my psychodynamics, the process of being human. I learnt to sit in silence, as my inner demons manifested themselves, to gain a deeper understanding of the purposefulness of these darker forces.  I am human; the essence of being human is to explore both the dark and the light.

The greatest challenge was the realisation that everything I have ever been told was a fabrication. A structure created by man for man to exploit and control man, a nonsensical establishment for profit and gain! Then I found my freedom and was able to break down the walls of my own prison. I discovered individualisation and the courage to stand alone amid the madding crowd.

My journey led me to discover the art of psychotherapy, philosophy, Zen, Osho, Jung, Mindfulness, Buddhism, Shamanism, Paganism, art, music, poetry, compassion, non-judgemental kindness, empathy, humanity, love and grace. I am in a constant flow of learning, as an eternal student it is an exciting time to be evolving and awakening, as I move toward a more enlightened stance.  I hold my past with an element of understanding and forgiveness, I see my future as the exciting and unpredictable unknown, but most importantly, I feel the essence of each moment, for within this very moment, I experience life.

MM 2015

Choice!

I don’t want to be the voice of reason,

I want to be the voice of innovation.

I cannot follow the conformist

If I want to walk in freedom.

To be able to understand order,

I need to experience chaos.

To feel the extent of the light,

I need to experience my own darkness.

To fully hold love for you,

Firstly, I need to accept me.

MM 2015

I am!

I survived things that confused me,
I survived things that abused me,
I survived things that destroyed me,
I survived things that nearly killed me,
I survived things that tried to break me,
I survived things that criticised me,
I survived the darkness that surrounded me,
I will continue to fight and survive,
I will never lose my faith in humanity,
I will never stop loving others,
I will keep being more compassion,
I will keep being me.

MedusaMoon 2015

Compassion!

Maybe one day

you will understand what it feels like

to walk in my shoes.

Perhaps a time will come

when I will be able to fit into your shoes too!

As I stand in front of you

I see a reflection of myself.

The parts I like

the bits I detest.

So when I judge you am I not judging me?

For we are all made from the same stardust

One interconnected source of love!

If only we knew

would we love each other more?

MM c 2015

Sometimes….

Sometimes
in life
people say things that they shouldn’t.
Sometimes
people wish they had said something
before the moment passed.
Sometimes
people wait their whole life
wanting to say something
but cannot find the courage.
Sometimes
it is just too late
to say those
“three little words”
that can change everything
or nothing.
I wish I knew how to say what I felt….
sometimes.

MedusaMoon  c 2015

Oh brightest star

Oh brightest star

how she would shine

more brightly

in most darkest night.

Until one eve

she met the moon

who shone

most magnificent

losing her sight.

Hence there forth

through every tide

she would gaze

upon his splendour.

The moon would cast

her but a glance

beautifully tender.

A loveaffair

intensified

tide to tide

She would settle close

afloat by his left side.

Over time

her own sparkle

become so small and dim.

Her energy diminished.

she was fading

knowingly accepting

this love affair had finished.

Losing all purposefulness

forgetting the true meaning of hope.

Dreams would fade

along with the belief

that by his side

she would cope.

The reason for her existence

to bath within his spark

to offer up her light for him

so he could shine

more brightly

in the dark.

He noticed her

more rarely now

as his affections

began to dither.

He bore of her

tiny spark

soon she would fade

and wither.

Insignificant was she

compared to all his beauty.

Staying true to him

an unspoken duty.

One day, she started to die

as all stars do

thought it was his making.

Turning cold

with each full moon

her broken soul

was aching.

Time passed

she did try

to rekindle her shining.

Uneventful

this became

stars do not understand dying.

Once upon a time

a star must disengage

to become

more than just a star.

To be the shooting star at night

so full of promise

greater than the moon by far.

As they plummet to the earth

a wish upon

Shepard’s guide

Wiseman’s promise

lover’s dream

a supernova in the sky.

Outshining even

the fullest moon

whilst gently passing by.

Oh brightest star

rediscovered

whom she was meant to be

before she lost her fight.

For one moment

she became

the most magnificent vision

in darkest night.

MedusaMoon 2014

Meaninglessness.

Meaningless

existence!

To be or not to be?

Impossible to re-create

once life is blown out.

Death I find intolerable

I scream louder than shout.

Grief has struck

the reaper left

his grimness  shall remain.

I’m trying to make sense of it

yet reasoning’s insane.

Pointlessness

nonsensical

I barter with denial.

Forgiveness

forgetfulness

thus leaving you in style.

Overwhelming

mournfulness

emptiness

no smile.

Bitterness

seriously

does that seem like me?

Unhappiness

constantly

we start to agree.

 

MedusaMoon 2014