Butterflies and Moonbeams

 

Hidden

In the dark

Alone

Waiting for the end.

My time

Spent concealed

In my cocoon of despair.

Wanting to feel

The sun

Upon my translucent skin.

Brightest colours

Big and bold

One day

I will begin.

Every caterpillar

Has a chance

To be the butterfly.

So I’m told

Therefore I wait

In coldest days

Till I shall fly.

Until my wings

Of gold unfold

I dream of moonbeams in the sky.

The ugly caterpillar

I may be

Until my cast does break.

Then I will shine

Yes, I shall be

The butterfly, awake!

 

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Nobody’s fool!

Try to understand

I am not as brave

as I may seem.

While my heart breaks

I am dangerous.

I can hear her laughing

in the back ground.

One day

she’ll be wailing

I won’t be around.

I’m nobody’s fool

What the hell

are you playing at?

Please don’t be

so cruel

Why can’t you

come right out

and say it

I can take it.

This bed grew
so much larger

And now winter

feels so cold

the smell of the rain

in the wind haunts me.

claws of betrayal

have settled deep

into the ground

I wait

for footsteps

to enter

this house

has no sound.

Rumours
spread like wild fire

So then tell me

what’s her name?

I know that you

will not return.

It was written

in her love letters

that I found

All placed together

scarlet ribbon bound.

Parting!

Parting!

 

The last time

I will feel this way

quite honestly

I hold no interest

in what you say.

All I wanted

was for you

to stay away

I struggle

to face another day.

The way

I see it

you want another war

I do not have the strength

to fight anymore

I cannot remember

who we are doing this for

I am left feeling

completely raw.

You are so funny

I laugh until I cry

This complete torment

do you remember why?

I could change

if we try

But as for living with you

I would rather die.

All you need to do

is to set me free

You no longer have

a hold on me

I will take this change

to run away

to flee.

Take a step back

and the entire picture

see.

 

MedusaMoon 2014

Bloody Valentine!

Woke

or did I?

Was I already awake?

It was morning

it may have been morning!

Unable to tell 

how long I’d been sleeping

What you left 

was not worth keeping.

I couldn’t move

my body numb

Black and blue 

from your fist kiss

How much love

to bash in my head?

Another day

I’ll have to hide in bed

My face hurts

so swollen

I think my jaw

is broken.

No-one can see me 

in this state

They’ll misread your love

as pure hate.

Sober 

you are different 

so gentle,

so kind.

You beg for forgiveness

and promise 

last time.

You’re so remorseful

with tears 

in your eyes.

Just like the last time

I believe your lies.

Yet, this time is different

quite different

you see.

When you leave.

go off to work today

I’ll take my reprieve. 

The only solution 

a sacrifice

I’ll take my own life.

To save myself

and no longer

be 

your wife!

Broken!

Broken

I feel broken

you look broken.

Frustrated

nothing said

words unspoken.

Confusion

devastation

heartbreaking.

Not my life

forgiven

forsaken.

Hollow eyes

hollow soul

hollow look.

Not the person

she used to be

I shook.

Shaken

shatter

stir 

something’s wrong.

Lost

torn

lost

worn

lost

gone.

Different

altered

such a shame.

Excuses lame

not a life

just a game.

Gob-smacked

speechless.

Smoked smack

outrageous.

Stolen

disappearing

vanished,

Sad

down

hurt

clown

banished.

Unknown

unrecognizable

disguise.

Untruths

fabrication

plain lies.

Bullet proof

no rescue

no saviour.

Distant

anger

fury

bad behaviour.

Wash my hands

walk away

leave

go.

Participation 

of this destruction

no.

Sweetest Love?

You just depart

no farewell kiss

salty tears

taste divine

rolling onto my lips.

Shaking in my hand

last words

scribbled down

words melt

tear stained marks

I rip your note to strips.

Read these lines

a million times

wrote them

two million before

returning is no bargain

deserted again!

We met

I knew

it was not forever

why did you leave so soon?

I thought

this time is different

not another role

another game.

What shall I do

these letters you wrote

throw them away.

Do I reread them

till well revised

then burn

my heart instead

Your ghost

haunts me

every night

every day

Even if it abandoned me

You would live

inside my head.

Who will replace

your kisses

hold me

I am so alone

What shall I do

with this space

beside me

hollow space

empty room

I shall not replace

you my lover

you loved me so well

The guilt lingers on

of what I destroyed

inside my womb.

No sweet love

I shall not forget

not until

you’re dying day

Every time

the sun sets

day beaks

night falls

May they all remind you

this love for you

was always true.

Remain with me

if only in my thoughts

there you will always stay

I will not scare

when your spirit moves over me

it will be my delight

We will always be together

inside my heart

my soul

my head

You will forever love me,

if only in my dreams

as I lay tonight

inside your bed.

 

©   MeduseMoon 2012

Even Your Blue Eyes!

He was hurt

by my rejection

I pretended

I had not seen.

He asked,

where I was going

So I told him

where I had been.

He offer me a proposal

Then begged me

to come clean

So I told him

about my husband

Then he said

“what does that mean?”

Even your blues eyes

could not hold me

Those tears you shed

Won’t make me stay

You money

does not control me

I must leave this place today

He confessed

his love for me

I laughed,

as he did lie

He said

he’d make me happy

Well, I’d like to see him try

For me he’d cross all oceans

And even reach the sky

The times

I’ve heard these tainted lies

This time I think

I am going to cry

Even your blue eyes

could not hold me

Those endless

untruthful things you say

Close the door

return to my bed

Tomorrow is another day.

RING OF FATE!

Wandering around

the ring of my life

commencing weak

demanding to be strong,

Rebuilt

every fragment

my shattered soul

realisation

I was completely wrong.

Misfortune

obstructing

reach out

I barely touch it,

Bright

shining light

blinded me

losing control

bit by bit by bit.

Stumble around

the darkness

a trick

played by my sightless fate,

Hope

determination

burnt to ashes

love had died

or turned to hate.

Abandonment

loneliness

left to dissolve

No courage or

self-esteem,

only pain

pain gnawed at

heartless soul

into the fires of hell

never escape

floating down stream.

Drifting

drowning

another blow

forced me to halt

will I ever break

away from the blame,

surely

this was all not my fault

ending

straight back

at the shame.

Full circle

from start to end,

how will I ever

heal this heart

will my brokenness

ever mend.

I think

I need to start again

How many rounds

Before

I am meant to be,

Maybe

I tried too hard,

Either way

I long to be free!

 

MedusaMoon 2014