The day I stood at the foot of a mountain, I discovered my insignificance. The walk that led me deep into the woods opened my eyes to the magnificence of creation. It was a lonely tear that fell into the ocean which allowed me to connect with the whole. The moment I allowed myself to sit within the darkness that surrounded me, my soul found illumination.
I had walked in the valley of death for years, lost and confused. The only way to survive was to eliminate this painful existence with every escapism and avoidance method created by man. An empty vessel wondering from shore to shore in hope, that one day, I may once again feel alive. To walk in the sunshine, I needed to experience my shadow self, embrace those disowned parts-of-self that were the cause of my greatest shame. I needed to acknowledge that these were a part of my psychodynamics, the process of being human. I learnt to sit in silence, as my inner demons manifested themselves, to gain a deeper understanding of the purposefulness of these darker forces. I am human; the essence of being human is to explore both the dark and the light.
The greatest challenge was the realisation that everything I have ever been told was a fabrication. A structure created by man for man to exploit and control man, a nonsensical establishment for profit and gain! Then I found my freedom and was able to break down the walls of my own prison. I discovered individualisation and the courage to stand alone amid the madding crowd.
My journey led me to discover the art of psychotherapy, philosophy, Zen, Osho, Jung, Mindfulness, Buddhism, Shamanism, Paganism, art, music, poetry, compassion, non-judgemental kindness, empathy, humanity, love and grace. I am in a constant flow of learning, as an eternal student it is an exciting time to be evolving and awakening, as I move toward a more enlightened stance. I hold my past with an element of understanding and forgiveness, I see my future as the exciting and unpredictable unknown, but most importantly, I feel the essence of each moment, for within this very moment, I experience life.