Midnight Blues

As I write this

I ponder

why am I still haunting

a loss that was not worth a gain

sometimes the end of the affair

takes a life time to complete

the memories remain

as I walk down this lonely street

I deicide to be real

to confess that my love for you

will break the back of a hopeless heart

I am forever blue

even though I felt you

never understood my essence

as you offered me your rage

I still loved you

please tell your ego

to get back into its cage

do you know

what is the most craziest thing of all

you will probably read this

and think less of me

when all I even wanted

was to be set free

so I summons up all the courage

I hold within my distorted heart

if you ever learn to meet me for who I am

I would like to meet you again

they say I own the most romantic heart

I say

every day I fall apart

but you know how that feels

because I see your inner pain

sometimes I feel as if I am going insane

I take my leave

a love to grieve

I love you more than I ever said

and tonight

for some reason

I cannot get you out of my head

there I said it out loud

my only regret

I wish I never sent this letter

because I doubt you

would understand

I hear your echo

is she not over this yet?

MedusaMoon c2015

Wooden Heart

Giuseppe excitement burst

he had been granted the son

he sought for years

embracing this wooden boy

his mind was racing

heartfelt gracious joy

oh child, now onwards

you shall be my new toy

great expectations

overwhelming the boy

prospects and opportunities

were formulate that night

visions of glory

stars shinning bright

creations of grandeur

enthusiasm creeping

such dogmatic style

Giuseppe was weeping

oh son you shall be

what I never succeed to do

all my failed ambitions

I am now hand them to you

all my years of self-loathing

low self-esteem and pure self-hate

these are your birth right

your destiny, your fate

son, my father

he taught me

Victorian sin

any emotions that you feel

you must hold them within

any fear that you sense

you must hide it away

yes son, just like me

you will be a man one day

Wooden heart replied

father, I ask

can I please

have a choice

may I just speak

let me please have my voice

I want to learn to dance

I want to be real

sail the seven seas

see the world

I do not want to be a man

I want to be a girl

I want to wear pink

flowers in my hair

I want to waltz through life

without a single care

his volcano exploded

Giuseppe rage broke

you cannot wear pink

as you are a bloke

no son of mine

will be a f**king Queen

go wash out your mouth

your mutterings are obscene

Wooden heart left the room

he departed with a sigh

if he is going to be my dad

then I would rather die

why would he make me

into a pathetic version of him

he is just a pauper, he is not a King

sat in his bedroom

his wooden heart began to wane

I may only hold a wooden heart

however, I still have a brain

I will leave here tonight

I shall run far away

then I will not have to listen

to what the old man has to say

so he left with a heart as heavy as lead

the tears rolled down his face

deep painful feelings were hurting his head

he walked and he walked

till the night became morn

I hate him, he shouted

I never asked to be born

Giuseppe awoke

alas he was running late

on the realisation his son had gone

he turned into a desperate state

his heart sunk

as a ship out at sea

oh my son, oh my son

where can you be?

why have you gone ?

have you deserted me?

Giuseppe left in a haste

to search for his son

oh good heavens

please tell me

what have I done?

I pushed him away

with my controlling  arrogance

I did not listen to my poor child

I never gave him a chance

just as my father stole away my hope

the same way he never encouraged me

when I felt as if I could no longer cope

I am becoming my father

whilst I swore I would not

oh my precious child

my rage that I bury

is not your fault

this shame that I carry

I have turned it into fury

my hope is to turn back time

the manner in which I spoke to you

was an unorthodox crime

Giuseppe came across the boy

sat in the middle of the road

holding onto a toy

son can you forgive me

whilst you were striving to be authentic

I wanted you to be just like me

father I am frightened

monsters hide under my bed

but they do not match the monsters

you have created inside my head

I want to evolve at my own pace

I want to marriage a person

be that same sex, different race

please allow my imagination to run wild

stop turning me into

a dysfunctional adult

as I am only child

the honour and respect

which you require for me

these ethics and principles

they are mine to give

but they do not come for free

for it is a dual process

the relationship dynamic

between father and son

as your ambition may be wasted

however, my young life

has just begun.

MedusaMoon c2015

Faery Love Songs

She summoned up

her inner phoenix

to swim with her among

the ruined sentiments

which lay at her feet

fragmented memoires

shattered hopes and dreams

remainders of every lover

love so incomplete

battles won, lost defeat

heroes fighting

for her honour

on a deserted

dusty parallel street

she wander this way

countless times before

hopeful to find

the wide open door

to enter into his heart

but this way not a part

of his wicked scheme

painfulness swallowed

her up completely

in its entirety

as she gently

allowed him to depart

loneliness devoured her

discretely

please take her

back to the start

of the dawn

her wail matched

the cry of the wild

a whale’s final song

echo into the silent morn

her fairy wings

were fairly worn

shoes were slightly broken

her dress ravenously torn

lost and lonely

forgotten child

she strode towards

the scarlet fire

its heat was equal

to his desire

for her flesh

her soul grew dim

she called upon

the faery King

to grant her courage

the bravery to begin

a journey into the unknown

Destiny had spoken

“What you seek may not

be found within the realms

of paradise lost.”

“The agape

you seek it hold a price

a heavy wager

a thankless cost.”

as Faery spoke

her voice trembled

“If that be so

thus please inform

why be this price so high.”

“Have I not love a

million times only

to watch love die.”

“Therefore, why would

I want to commit my

heart to another

lost cause?”

“You may be wise dear

Destiny, but this wisdom

you hold is yours.”

Destiny replied

“Alas dear child

your defiance will

be the death of you”

“I have a sense you are

addicted to feeling

this colour named blue.”

Faery’s rage could not

be contained

her anger made its point

“How dare you challenge me

fair Lady, can you not see

my pain.”

“It eats me alive thus on

may days I feel as if

I am going insane.”

Destiny spoke no more

she offered out her hand

together they walk in silence

crossing the barren land

on the edge of the fire

they stood in stillness

Destiny spoke telepathically

‘the Phoenix you seek

lies deep within

as you enter this fire

your life with begin

sometimes the things

we do are essential

perhaps we cannot explain

remaining stuck

in dysfunctional heartache

all the love songs

will remain the same

the love you seek

so desperately

is an attunement

a fine art

the love you need completely

is right here

inside

your

heart.

MedusaMoon c2015