Eating Comfort

Pretty from a

distant

the boys use

to taunt

thunder thighs

spoil the

outline of

my short

skirt

moon faces

do not capture

passing ships

at night

big girls

do not

go to the

prom

they remain

the wall flowers

sat in front

of TV programmes

eating comfort

all on their own

starvation became

my solace

a friend who

caused the

familiar

tightness in

my gut

empty hunger

eating away

my stomach lining

felt equally

as good as

the jelly doughnut

I shallowed whole

but

that piece

of fried sweet

dough hardly

hit the pit

of my belly

jelly

melting cause

panic inside

all I can see

is fat thighs

through swollen

red eyes

remove the

cause of

my distress

by forcing fingers

deep down

removing contents

a powerful

feeling of being

in control

when all

around me

out-of-control

counting calories

grams of fat

every item of

food is known

by the amount

of pain

it may cause

me

or how

many hours

punishing out

the loneliness

in the gym

desperately wanting

to be thin

magazine pages

worshipped

anorexic

super models

such glory

forcing myself

to appear as hollow

killing off the

hollowness I hold

deep inside

nurture unbeknown

objectification

is the only

theme I know

countless moments

wasted

disillusion hopefulness

that my thinness

would feed me

the esteem

that fell down

at me feet

as the echo of

“Hey Fatty”

still rings

within my

empty soul!

 

MM c2015

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