I feel a dark energy swimming around the earth at present, something I have never felt before. So much unnecessary destruction of human life, why? I am so helpless, as I watch the world at war. Mother Earth being raped and destroyed, animals treated with such much cruelty. Pumped full of chemicals abused until their lives have no purpose and they are just waiting to die!
So then why are we all in such competition, why are we all out to annihilate each other on the way to the top of the food chain? I understand why man has so much hatred toward his fellow man. If one carries darkness, a need to be greater, bigger, better than another. If one’s narcissist shadow is disowned it will be acted out and projected onto others. Angry children make for angry adults, abused children become abusing adults, and misunderstood children become confused adults. Teach our children well! However, from the moment we can walk, talk we are taught with dogmatic voices that to be successful, we need to achieve and we need to win at all cost.
The media is creating “surreal” live programmes where we laugh out loud at those who do not fit into our falsely acclaimed expectation systems. How do we measure ourselves? If the measuring stick I hold becomes no more than a rod to break my back, then I will never be satisfied with life. I will always feel as if I was a failure; I will always listen to the voice of criticism that informs me I am “never good enough”. How can I learn to be compassionate, to hold kindness, to love and know acceptance, if I have not made this my own attitudes, if I do not love myself? Every single human on this earth has a talent; most of us will never have the right conditions to discover our gifts. As most humans are too busy trying to survive to think about becoming.
I am blessed, humbly so, as I have the chance to practice a more spiritual life, to move towards enlightenment and to self-actualise, because I have my basic needs met. So it feels as if it is a duty of care, to inspire, educate and hold hope, so those who may not have their basic needs met. So they too may find a voice, may know that they have the ‘human’ right to live in a brighter world. That they may find a path that make more sense and that they too may want to live and not just survive.
I have seen the darkness! I have held no hope, I have felt as if life was not worth living and I have sat waiting for the end. I have had my esteem striped from the walls of my soul, I have listen to the tune of not being good enough and I have died countless times in the state of oblivion. As the darkness grew and I sat in the corner of my madness, inside me grew a warrior and her name was love. She battled against the dark Knight and killed the monsters that had attached to her inner being. She fought against the odds and worn her scars with dignity and grace. She rode a black stallion through the ashes of her disgrace until come out of death’s valley and saw the sun shine for the very first time. I do not claim to be a hero, nor am I trying to proclaim to be better than anyone.
This is the story of my moving towards enlightenment and it gives me such great hope and joy that I feel encouraged in sharing my journey with you. If all I do is create some hope for anyone struggling to make sense of their own darkness, then that will be enough. As there were those who held out the hand of compassion, those kind, non-judgemental souls who picked me up, as I fell to the floor in desperation and begged to be understood, pleaded to be saved. If it was not for those kind humans, I doubt I would be sat here telling this tale. A grateful heart is beating to a new tune and my soul dances with immense gratitude for my life worth living. Peace and love MM c2015