Why Don’t You?

“Why don’t you

just get a grip?”

numerous

occasions

others

utter these

fly away comments

as they fall at

her feet

she dare not

step on

these statements

razor sharp

sentiments

a reassurance

that her depression

is an annoyance

avoidance

is a healthy

game

if they could

only see

how hard

she hangs on to

her sanity

without

going slightly

insane

she wonders

what her sadness

challenges within

do their little

scary monsters

shiver behind

thick skin

is depression

contagious

she so wants

to ask

“Why are you

just not grateful?”

she ponders if

they are serious

words formulate

delusions recreate

she is just

delirious

grateful?

grateful for the

moments

when the demons

living inside her

head were

not all wishing

that she was dead

at the same time

grateful for the

silent seconds

silence

before the rage

tip toeing

around land mines

surrounding

their insincerity

explosions

of suppressed pain

misdirected

an addition

to her accumulation

of toxic shame

“Why can’t you

see how lucky

you are?”

define lucky

please inform

her what the

hell lucky

really means

does it mean

that this mental

unwellness

was a gift?

fortunate

to experience

a daily routine

waking up

every day

praying that

the darkness

is going to be

kinder

to her

today

is that what

they mean?

she holds

no purposefulness

inflicting

her misery upon

another

she asks for no

counsel

so why do they

bother

misunderstood

so alone

isolation

barbedwire fences

are etched

around each

bone

holding her

together as

the only feeling

well-known

is painfulness

“Why can’t

they just see me?”

she needs not

a solution

the glue

they are

trying to impose

the colours

to cover her

true blue

she wishes

it would fix her

as if she

were a broken

fragile china doll

twenty minutes

attentively

listening

to her need

a comforting cuddle

as her insides

start to bleed

as if by magic

she would start

to grieve

letting go of

the past

if just for a moment

they could sit in

her corner

placing on her

worn out shoes

the ones with

the hole in

the soul

compassion would

replace

the coldness

may leave

without a trace

she could then

feel able

to be more

real

remove

the masks

attached to

her lonely

face

as they ask

how does it

feel?

 

MMC2015

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